About a Fucked Foot
ESL - June 2009, Woodhaven

Well "foot (fut)" means "fuck" in Romanian, "was" in French" and we know the English meaning. So, me and my international homonym lexiconed mind (which is a nice way of saying that where in my youth I used to a polyglot, I can now safely proclaim that my mind is filled with a language soup of many ingredients,) immediately came up with the tail end of an imaginary conversation that went like this: " ..... so, your foot got fucked baby." That led to five different scenarios that could work as a prelude to this one little snippet, as well as fitting in perfectly with my Lexicon.

They can be summarized thus:

1. This person's foot was humped by a very small dog.
2. He/she indulged in some very perverted sexual practices (disgusting, but hard to take your eyes off of.)
3. A few years ago, in New Jersey this guy actually had the wrong leg (and foot) amputated. I sincerely hope this was not the case.
4. It could just be a severe case of athlete's foot.
5. Very small shoes, squeezing the be-Jesus out of that foot.

The rest of the conversation could have gone on like this:

1. Yeah man, can you believe that stupid Chihuahua. if the owner wasn't that blonde, stacked and obviously bothered, I would have kicked the little shit all the way into next week. Unfortunately, all I could do was drool because her mother had come home unexpectedly. So all we did was drink tea and have a couple of cookies, but we have another date on Thursday and after that, hopefully, my place - wish me luck.