2. Well, it was after the office party ended; we were all quite blitzed and somehow, this redhead ended up in my flat. I can't quite remember how the conversation managed to decline into a serious debate about the pros and cons of foot fetishism, but before you could say Annie Sprinkle, one of my big toes was lodged deep inside her vagina. I know it sounds disgusting, but I couldn't take my eyes off the action. So there's a good side and a bad side to this strange incident. The bad side is that my foot is the only part of me that got fucked. We probably both passed out after that because I can't remember anymore. The good side is that a. she was not a co-worker, but a friend of one. b. She was gone when I woke up. c. She left her phone number. I hope I'm not confusing the bad side with good side.

3. Yeah, I can't believe that damn podiatrist would do something like this. But, let's look at the bright side: True, my foot looks so disgusting now, that I don't think I'll ever go to the beach or spa for that matter fact, ever again. I can still walk though! And, with the money I'm going to get from this butcher after my lawyer is done with him, I'll be living the life of Riley, no to mention that I will be able to afford some more surgical procedures, so who knows, I might go to the beach again after all. Besides, it could have been much worse, I could have been that guy from Jersey.

4. Tell me about it - ever since I was a kid, whenever I'd take my shoes off, like in gym or something, every one tried hard to squeeze into the other end of the room. And it got a lot worse as I grew older, so imagine my surprise when I managed to talk Stella into going to that motel with me. To call what did happen a perverted and insane sexual encounter would be the understatement of the century. Granted, the century is still quite new and there may be others that may trump this one, but I'm in love baby - nothing would stand in my way. What are the chances of a man with acute bromodrosis* like me ever meeting a woman born with anosmia*?

*bromodrosis - stinkfoot
*anosmia - lacking a sense of smell